Weird Families

*2013:  I found this in drafts and decided to go ahead and publish it.

Have you ever tried to describe your family to someone who doesn't know you?  That's what I tried to do the first time I spoke with Missy's future in-laws.  I was trying so hard not to be weird and then for some reason I felt compelled to say, "you have to meet us to believe us."

I've been around enough families to know that EVERY ONE of them has their idiosyncrasies and plenty are WAY weirder than us, trust me on that.  I like to think we're a GOOD weird, a funny weird, a 'gosh-they're-great-but-aren't-you-glad-you're-not-one-of-them' weird.  Of course, that's probably what every family would like to think...yeah. If there's an inappropriate thing to be said, we'll probably be the ones to say it.  If somebody farted, it's probably one of us. 

For instance, maybe about three years ago we brought Cassie to a sit-down dinner wedding reception.  Now I knew her name wasn't on the invitation, but I didn't have anyone to watch her and I figured, what's one more (major social faux pas, I KNOW!).  Then, I thought it would be cute if she participated in the catching of the bouquet.  Problem was, she caught it.  She, of course, was thrilled.  I'm actually surprised that family still speaks to me. 

Over a decade ago, while picking out my dad's casket I tried to joke with my sister about the fact that given the way he'd pickled himself with alcohol, he'd probably preserve pretty well.  She was not amused.  We inherited his car and we called it the DMC (Dead Man Car).  Gary's dad passed away the same year, so we had all kinds of DMS (Dead Man Stuff).  I guess you'd call us...irreverent?  Certainly not insensitive!

One time I thought it would be really cute for Mother's Day to make a special gift basket for my mom.  My thought was that I wanted her to be selfish for a day.  So I bought a "Self" magazine and added "ish" to the title and included things like bath gel and nail polish.  Although she was gracious, the confused look spoke volumes.  I sent my sister a note outlining all the ways we are different.  Not sure how that was received, since she never mentioned it.

I'm sure if I wracked my brain, I could come up with countless stories, but you get the picture.  Hey, we're on the road to perfection, I didn't say we'd arrived.