Prior to the current economic downturn, I believed this ‘age of entitlement’ knew no bounds. While I know that so many of the rising generation are strong, obedient, valiant and righteous, I refer to the belief held by some members of this generation that the business of earning your due is old fashioned and it’s their given right to have NOW what their parents took a lifetime to acquire. This mindset baffles and infuriates parents and employers who wonder where in the world they got such an idea.
The basis for the attitude of entitlement comes from the value we, as a society, place on ‘stuff’. The mode of acquiring for acquisition’s sake seems to have really taken hold among the emerging middle class in the 1950’s. We began to busy ourselves with ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ and all that entailed. It was no longer good enough to ‘use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without’ as the previous generation had taught. Our STUFF began to define us. Houses, cars, clothes, vacations, these things and more have increased in social importance over the decades.
It’s not considered out of the ordinary, when it comes to our children, if we have it to give, (or sometimes if we don’t) to freely give and give and give with few or no expectations in return. Many families lack the time or energy to ‘Train up a child in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6)’. It’s just easier to give them something.
Ergo…those who espouse these values created the entitlement monster. In the hurried up frenzy of life, too many parents have forgotten to teach their children the value of work and to look with gratitude to Him from whence all things come. If we teach children the most important thing in life is having a name brand on our shirt, or the latest and greatest technology , and then we unconditionally serve up their every wish and desire…well…now we’re seeing the result of that.
In Doctrine and Covenants 59:21 it states, “And in nothing doth man aoffend God, or against none is his bwrath ckindled, save those who dconfess not his hand in all things, and eobey not his commandments.” President James E Faust, former second counselor in the First Presidency spoke of gratitude as a saving principle. He stated that “It (was) clear (to him) from this scripture that ‘to thank the Lord thy God in all things’ (D&C 59:7) is more than a social courtesy; it is a binding commandment.” He said, “One of the evils of our time is taking for granted so many of the things we enjoy. The Apostle Paul described our day to Timothy when he wrote that in the last days “men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.” (2 Tim. 3:2.) These sins are fellow travelers, and ingratitude makes one susceptible to all of them.”
Pondering this principle of gratitude, I was able to think of many examples in my life.
A good example is my Grandma. Approaching her 90th year, she still attends holiday gatherings during which she fervently seeks moments with individual family members and couples to glean information and impart wisdom. At times, she just soaks it all in, tears occasionally rolling down her cheeks. Family has always been of the utmost importance to her, and now, with her years quickly advancing, more than ever, she treasures these family times. She worries whether or not she’s taught her progeny all she was sent here to teach. To that end, my Mom has started recording her bits of wisdom in the spirit of not losing that gained through tough life lessons. The habits I rolled my eyes at in my teens, now seem supremely wise and I’m so grateful for her and her lesson of focusing on the important things in life.
If you asked me my favorite place of all, I might say ‘the beach’ or some exotic destination. This is what my ever-practical Grandma said, “Right where we are is my favorite place of all as it has so many conveniences, friends, family and folks we have known. Our church and neighbors all are very special enrichment of our lives. We have lots of family, even (7) great grandchildren less than 40 miles of us. We have known much happiness here.”
I’ve always thought that life was a process of reaching and reaching and always striving for more. While this is true of knowledge, there is much to be said for just being content with where you are and what you have. I conclude from this that being happy with this moment in time is a wonderful expression of gratitude.
Another viewpoint of gratitude is through a child’s eyes. We’ve been commanded to ‘receive the kingdom of God as a little child (Mark 10:15)” It’s impossible to do this if we haven’t first received our temporal blessings with gratitude.
Think of introducing a baby to the backyard. The grass, the leaves, the insects, the dirt…all is a wonder to him. And it truly is a wonder; we’ve just gotten used to it.
In Primary the children are learning the song “My Heavenly Father Loves Me.” The first verse reads, “Whenever I hear the song of a bird, or look at the blue, blue sky, whenever I feel the rain on my face, or the wind as it rushes by, whenever I touch a velvet rose, or walk by a lilac tree, I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me.” A truly grateful heart starts with the basics.
I’ve been shown plenty of examples of gratitude for simple things by my own children. My son Gary LOVED gloves when he was small. He called them ‘glubs’. He actually still loves glubs, at 23. He also loved boots. As a toddler he had a pair of snow boots we called T-Bones because they had a T-Rex skeleton magically appear on them when they came in contact with the cold snow. He wore his T-Bones winter and summer, until the stink was too hideous to speak of. He just loved those boots. Gloves and boots – they’re pretty great. Just ask someone who doesn’t have any.
When Gary was in preschool, Missy was around age 2. My goal was for her to take her nap while Gary was in school and she usually complied. Sometimes she slept late and I’d have to wake her up so we could walk to the end of the block to pick up Gary. This was the case one afternoon. I woke her up and, to her great amazement, it was raining! We walked out the front door, I gave her a raised umbrella to hold and all the way there and back she sang, “umblella, umblella, umblella to you”. That expression of joy for rain and the protection from it has stuck in my memory. Umbrellas are certainly something worth singing about.
Cassie, on the other hand, loves live things. Now it’s dogs, but when she was small it was bugs. This child loved bugs. She’d search through leaves and flowers, sift through dirt and sand in search of 6 legged friends. One caterpillar, in particular, Cassie decided would be her pet. She named this caterpillar ‘Jewelry’ and we have a great picture of Jewelry the Caterpillar scaling a beaming Cassie’s arm. Unfortunately, Jewelry went missing from her jar the following day. Cassie was so distraught over her runaway caterpillar that, to soothe her, my husband Gary made up a missing poster. It read, “Have you seen Jewelry the Caterpillar?” and it listed our phone number. On it, he drew a picture of a cartoonish, smiling caterpillar. Not surprisingly, we never found Jewelry. But Cassie’s love for a lowly caterpillar reminds me to be thankful for ALL of God’s creations.
After a fun family gathering many years ago, I asked my nephew Daniel, what his favorite thing about the day had been. He replied, “Mama”. Remembering his simple and heartfelt answer always makes me smile and reminds me to be thankful for my Mama.
So, I’ve talked about the elderly and children. I wonder if it’s easier to see blessings more clearly at the beginning and end of life. It’s the middle that befuddles most of us. With all the everyday-ness of life…the responsibilities, the commitments, the tasks to be done, the heartaches, the misunderstandings, trying to juggle it all, can we maintain our sense of wonder and be grateful to God for all we’ve been given?
Going back to this idea of entitlement, we could look at it another way. Each of us came to this earth being entitled to receive all that Heavenly Father has to offer us. A definition of ‘entitlement’ is, “a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract” It’s only through our not keeping God’s law that the contract is broken. And He gives us opportunity after opportunity to reinstate the contract and gain all He offers.
Again, President Faust: “As with all commandments, gratitude is a description of a successful mode of living. The thankful heart opens our eyes to a multitude of blessings that continually surround us. President J. Reuben Clark, formerly a First Counselor in the First Presidency, said: “Hold fast to the blessings which God has provided for you. Yours is not the task to gain them, they are here; yours is the part of cherishing them” President Clark points out to us that we are continually being blessed, and it’s our duty to see those everyday ‘happenings’ as gifts and cherish them as such. Gratitude is NOT about how MUCH we have, it’s about recognizing, utilizing, and thanking God for what we’ve already been given. This has very little to do with how big your house it or how much money you make.
Feeling grateful is sometimes easier said than done when it seems your life is in the gutter. Most of us have been there at one time or another, for a variety of reasons, and some of us are there right now. Having endured some things, I have a testimony of coming through the fires of adversity stronger than before. The tough things in life are hard to be grateful for…maybe gratitude isn’t what we feel. I’ve tried to think of another word, but am at a loss. I suppose I could say I’m not exactly grateful for the hardship of the experience, but I am grateful for Heavenly Father’s confidence in my character; that I would succeed in my trials and overcome my weaknesses, maintaining and even strengthening my faith throughout. The inimitable Dolly Parton said, “the way I see it, if you want a rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” And so it is…blessings follow the trials.
When we’re challenged by life circumstances, we can turn away from God or turn toward Him. I love the story of Job. When I feel sorry for myself, I think of him. After his property and children were destroyed, he praised God, saying, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21) Now THAT’S character! God knew Job’s character and trusted him with all the trials Satan could throw at him. Had Job not had a grateful heart when he prospered, he could not have weathered the storms of loss as he did. I have a cross-stitched sign in my home that reads, “Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become character, character is everything.” What more can I say?
President Thomas S. Monson said, “Think to thank. In these three words is the finest capsule course for a happy marriage, a formula for enduring friendship, and a pattern for personal happiness.”
I’d like to close with expressions of gratitude for all Heavenly Father has seen fit to bestow upon me. I’m grateful for the blessings and grateful to have come through the trials, knowing I have many more to experience. I’m grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, for my family, my health, and so many other things. I strive everyday to see God’s hand in all things, great and small, knowing that gratitude will save me from the sin of pride. I’m grateful for all the opportunities I’m given in this great church I’m a member of to grow, to learn, and to share the feelings of my heart. And I pray, in the words of my Grandma, that each of us will “find blessings and pleasure in each day and be thankful.”
