We were reminded yesterday of the fact that just because Cassie is doing well at the moment, that could all turn on a dime. Gary and Missy are home, with their intendeds (is that a word?) and the house is chaotic to say the least. Yesterday Cassie expected them all to pick her up from school and watch her swim for a bit. However, Missy accepted a dinner invitation which prevented them from doing so. While that would be a disappointment for any kid, it was devastating for Cassie. She howled most of the way home, threatened to kill herself and others, swore, spit and transformed into something just shy of a fiend from hell. The episode extended into the evening and everyone in the house, both family and visitors, got a taste of life with Cassie.
What was I thinking, allowing that to happen? My only defense is that when things are good, I quickly forget how bad they can get. It's akin to what happens after giving birth. The pain of childbirth is unbelievable. The only way I could've done that three times is because a veil of forgetfulness falls over you when you see that baby. Just so, I've been lulled into complacency by the blessed mundane-ness of life lately. I'd forgotten that, lurking beneath the surface of this normalcy is a beast waiting to be unleashed.
Last Thanksgiving Cassie ate her dinner in the hospital. It was a sad and lonely day. I know I can't always protect her from disappointment and the results of such, but I can be more diligent in recalling what life is like in the eye of the storm and doing what I can to protect us from it. I can be thankful for today, while remembering the past so I don't have to repeat it. Today dawned a new day. Cassie went off to school as usual, but let that be a lesson to me!
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