Summer isn't really over, right??
We had a *great* summer, the best in recent memory even. Gary and Missy & Matt moved back to MI from Idaho and while the chaos has been a little stressful, the overall effect on Cassie has been stabilizing.
We purchased a used pontoon boat in late spring; a behemoth of a thing at 24', a real floating living room! The pontoon gave us so much enjoyment and Cassie swam almost every day.
There have been a few bumps, for sure (starting with another seizure in early June...while tubing in the lake!!), but nothing like the omnipresent depression of the past year(s). She actually enjoyed herself a lot of the time, even though she spent most of it on her laptop watching episodes of "Bleach". Even her 16th birthday turned out to be a success, with two friends, both of whom are lovely girls who share Cassie's love of anime and gave her the best birthday ever.
Contrast that with today. Mandatory yearbook meeting. The staff leaders are gorgeous, slim, tan girls and I immediately sensed trouble. In fact, it seems yearbook is a magnet for almost every beautiful teenage girl in the entire school. Cassie's paranoia started cranking up and my antennae were raised, for sure.
Of course Cassie has been angst-filled for the past week in anticipation of school starting. I could tell she was freaking out during the meeting, which ended with meeting her 'buddy' and some ice breakers. We stopped into the Stockbridge house to pick up mail and check things out and she headed straight for the knives. When she's in that mode, all I can do is not make a big deal of it. She put the knife down, got in the car and cried the entire way back to Reading (over an hour).
OH MY GOSH, I CAN'T DO THIS TO MYSELF OR HER ANYMORE. All the way back I'm thinking, 'why does she really even have to go to school?? She's not learning anything, anyway.' School is merely a device of torture for Cassie. Self-imposed, to some extent, but torture nonetheless. What, exactly, is the point of that? Graduation is out of the question, so what is it we're achieving here? Every year we sign the IEP's, not really sure what's been achieved or really analyzing the goals that are being set, because we've all but given up hope. School has become merely a respite for US, a babysitter, a calm between storms. And that's really not good enough, is it?
So tonight I started thinking of alternatives. The past two years I've had this idea that public school is NEVER going to be able to accommodate Cassie, even in their most specialized classroom. Inclusion be damned, I'm willing to try any program that could prevent her from going off the deep end. I've asked professionals about alternatives and no one ever seems to know anything.
After some searching on the internet, I came across a school that specifically treats kids with developmental and emotional disorders, complete with on-site therapy. From what I can tell, it's mostly residential, but appears that one could also attend school only. And it's in JONESVILLE. That's about 15 minutes from the cottage, and in the same county.
I don't have enough information yet to form any kind of decision, but I'm certainly going to look into this TOMORROW. It seems too good to be true, but if this is the answer I've been seeking, it could be life-changing for all of us.
*2012: That school ended up being a residential program primarily for wards of the court. This year it closed due to lack of funding. Turns out they had a lot of complaints against them.
